Between effort and reward dependence, and it affects major aspects of our lives.
Future commandos of the U.S. Navy are tested for survival in the water. They bind his hands and feet and thrown into a pool with a depth of 2.7 meters. Their task — to hold out for five minutes. The majority of cadets do not stand up. Alone, once in the water, panicking and asked to return them to the land. Others are struggling to stay afloat but was losing consciousness. Manage those who understand two paradoxical truths.
First, the more trying to keep my head above the water, the more likely it is to go to the bottom. With bound hands and feet it is impossible to stay afloat all of five minutes. To pass this test, you need to sink to the bottom. Then gently push and let the momentum of your body to lift you back up. There you will inhale a little air. And this process need to be repeated again and again.
It does not need superhuman strength or endurance. You don’t even need the ability to swim. On the contrary, you should not swim. Instead to resist physical forces that in a normal situation you would have killed it by giving them mercy, and so to save his life.
Second, the more panic, the more you spend of oxygen. Accordingly, the higher the probability to lose consciousness and drown. This test wraps up the survival instinct against the participants. The stronger the desire to breathe, the less opportunity. The stronger the desire to live, the higher the chance to die.
Check not so much the physical skills of the cadets as their ability to control emotions in dangerous situations. The test shows whether a member can restrain impulses, to relax in the face of possible death, will he risk his life for the service of a higher purpose. Such skills are more important than the ability to swim, endurance, and ambition. They are more important than what school cadet studied and how well he looks in a new suit.
This skill is to relinquish control, when to control the situation wants, is one of the most important in life.
It is necessary for everyone, not just elite forces. We used to think that the relationship between effort and results is linear. That working twice as long, we get twice the results. That is two times louder shouting their opinion, be twice to the right.
This does not happen almost never. A linear relationship is characteristic only of mechanically repetitive tasks — driving, paperwork, cleaning. In this case, in two hours you will receive two times more results than one hour. But most of the action in life more difficult. They require adaptation, originality, mental and emotional effort. For them characteristic curve of diminishing returns.
The more you gain or experience something, the less it satisfies. Money is a classic example. The difference in salary between 20 000 and 40 000 rubles is huge, it changes the way of life. The difference between 120 000 and 140 000 means only that you have in the car now, more comfortable seat heaters. The difference between 127 000 127 020 and 040 000 is the error when filling in your tax return.
Similar happens with the friendship. To have one friend is extremely important. Two friends are clearly better than one. But the addition of the tenth friend has little change in your life. And when they are 20, you only difficult to remember the names.
The concept of diminishing returns apply to almost all new experiences. For example, how many times a year to visit parents in another city? These first impressions seem to be very valuable. But the more you get, the more decreases their value to you (sorry, mom).
The same can be said about sex, food, sleep, alcohol and caffeine, exercise, reading, resting, Masturbation, video games. All these activities have diminishing returns. The more often you do this, the less you get feedback. Them describes a third type of curve — an inverted curve.
The effort and reward are inversely related. The more effort you make to achieve something, the more you will endure failures. The above-described test in water works according to this principle. The more you try to stay on the surface, the more likely it will sink. The most important goals and experiences in life also follow the principle of the inverted curve.
Striving for happiness, we just move away from him. The need for love and understanding prevents us to love and understand themselves.
Desire a positive experience — in itself a negative impression and negative experience is a positive experience. Such an inverse law applies to almost all aspects of our mental health and relationships.
- Control. The more we strive to control their emotions and impulses, basilinea feel. Conversely, when we accept them, it is easier to send and recognize them.
- Freedom. The constant pursuit of freedom limits us. But when we limit ourselves, choosing something specific in life, we become truly free.
- Happiness. Trying to be happy, only upset. Acceptance of failure helps you become happier.
- Security. Constant anxiety about security increases the feeling of insecurity. Resigned to the discomfort of the unknown, you will feel calmer.
- Love. The more we try to force others to accept and love us, the less results. And the less we ourselves will love yourself.
- Respect. The more we demand respect from others, the less they’ll be respected. The more we respect others, the more they will respect us.
- Trust. The more we try to inspire confidence, the less we will trust.
- Confidence. The more we want to be sure, the more worry. And when you accept their flaws, feel comfortable.
- Change. What we desperately want to change, the more we feel that we lack something. But accepting ourselves, we begin to grow and develop. When we are busy with interesting things, on a soul-searching time.
- Meaningful. The more we strive to find a purpose or deeper meaning in life, the more focus on ourselves. Only when we do something for others, we live intelligently.
When it comes to these abstract concepts, our consciousness is likened to a dog chasing its own tail. Only he always escapes. The dog may not realize that she and the tail are one and the same.
Therefore, our goal is to wean the mind chasing its own “tail”. Not to run for meaning, freedom and happiness. Teach him how to achieve by abandoning it. Remind yourself that the only way to stay on the surface — give yourself to go to the bottom.
For this you need to give up. Not out of weakness but out of respect for the fact that the world is out of your hands. Let go of what is uncontrollable. Accept that sometimes you will not please people, often you will expect failure and you won’t always understand what you are doing.
Embrace fear and uncertainty and when you feel that you are drowning and reached the bottom, they push you back to salvation.